We gave up alcohol
For our health
We had woken angry confused dehydrated
Clutching the sheets and a ghost of an argument
But not the remembrance of it 
So we decided to give up alcohol
For our health

A week in and we congratulated each other 
Hugged our success 
Eyeing up bottles over each other’s shoulders.
We didn’t cook with it
And pretended to savour thin sauces,
Fearing the pop of a cork would unleash a genii
Promising good taste but full of damning tricks.
It was easy. 
We didn’t miss it we said,
As we turned in early for another restless sleep.
We came down with colds
Ashamed in the knowledge our bodies were adjusting.
They were becoming healthy. 

In the second week we were alarmed by spare time
- A surprising amount -
And watched documentaries on yesteryear,
Remarking with a knowing wink
How much they drank back then
And how they died young.
We watched a lot of documentaries.
Romans might struggle to hit forty
They had wine.
With this Roman straw man in place
We knocked it down and felt superior
And survived another week

In the third week yesteryear palled
We were tired of saying ‘did you know’ 
And ‘well I never’
We grunted our ignorance to whatever the TV told us
Slipping into prehistory  
We watched actors in loin cloths and prosthetic foreheads 
Lope about   
Sit about
Eat.
Knowing the long days they endured
We turned the sofa around
And watched our shadows dance on the wall
Longing for sleep 
Or an early death 

In the fourth week we argued
Had it been to hand 
We would have beaten each other’s brains out with a jawbone.
We couldn’t remember what started it
But decided to take up alcohol
For our health