The Beast is feeling cooped up
All in all quite vexed
Squatting in the remains of the chicken coop
He ponders what comes next?

A fox who joined him in the plunder
Suggests they hit the town
He knows a spot behind McDonalds
Where the vixens all throw down

“Its proper skanky shanky stuff
Great if you fancy a flutter
My ex lost her tail and ear there
But you should see the other nutter”

The Beast hadn’t gambled before 
But was sure it was not for him
“Have you anything more elevating
Than wrestling in a bin?” 

“Oh la-diddly-dah de diddly doo!
Let us to the opera your majesty”
The Beast cared not for foxes tone
And grabbed him lest he flee

Bringing him close to his grisly lips
The Beast spoke quiet and low
“I just want some entertainment
And you’re usually in the know”

So…
A little later The Beast and fox 
Are loping by the canal
Fox peppers Beast with anecdotes
Which he prays are not banal

“See that’s a coot - white forehead
I nearly caught one - that’s the truth!
But it took me under and over a weir
An’ I chipped my bleeding tooth”

“A-a-and this is a Himalayan Balm
Or is it balsam, I can’t tell
You hum it and I’ll sing along - HA!”
The chat was not proceeding well.

Then Fox awkwardly scampered: 
Tangling legs, he painfully tripped
And noted The Beast’s snarl
Suddenly - unexpectedly - slipped 

Fox talked about his gammy toe
Sliced open by some careless glass
A bottle lobbed outside his den
Dug out below the underpass

He laid it on thick as molasses
That he “might as well be dead”
And told about his woeful life
And there - glory be - a smile spread

The more Fox debased himself
The more sure he could endure
And so led The Beast to a pub
Rather proud of the detour

The table service was a joy
Other clientele kept clear
As Beast drank schadenfreude  
With beer and beer and beer

It was only some time later 
And on the way to sloshed 
They approached a significant issue 
That neither had any dosh. 

“Well of course I ‘aven’t any!
I’m as tight as I am skint”
And seeing the approaching server
Fox took off at a sprint.

The Beast sat there shocked
And in an instant sober
One thing clear in his addled mind 
The friendship with Fox was over

“I should not chase entertainment
A fleeting thrill at best
When if I’m honest what I enjoy
Is feathering my nest”

He tried to dikker with the bar staff
Put on an apologetic mein
But seeing it got him nowhere
He ate the human being

The Beast returned to his usual ways
Once again was cock-a-hoop
As he went on a jolly rampage
And de-chickened another coop

Another Fox asked after the first
And if The Beast had seen him
The the only reply a gurgle
From deep inside The Beast’s duodenum.